A Little Drama

10:11 PM

Oh Boy. I never thought our journey would be like this. It was fun, for sure but it is undeniable that I was miserable. Sure, you held me so tight I could always feel your warmth under neath your skin. But you held me so tight I was out of breath. You were my muse, a friend, a partner, an enemy, and most importantly, a lover.

Pay attention to that word. A lover. But little did you know, you are also a fighter, a very strong one. A fighter who will do anything to get his victory and keep it locked so no one could take it. But little did you know too, you were more a fighter than a lover. A fighter who will sacrifice his love for what? To feed his majestic ego.

I was a girl who loves hard and will do anything to keep it grow. A girl.

You had me when I was a girl. I can say that I grew up with you because of how far we've become, My Love. I said I'd love you forever and believe me, I tried. I'd stupidly and blindly give my self to you, My Love. We would love each other passionately, take care of each other like brother and sister, fight with each other like husband and wife. And little did I know, I was transforming. From a lover, to a fighter like you. Or a little bit of both.

Now you met your true match. It's funny how the word "true match" sounds really good and romantic but it could be bad at the same time. My ego was small, as tiny as one needle. I was a good friend, My Love. I was pure, I was happy, and loving, My love.

People said, when you're so in love with someone, you'd act or think like them. It is true. I'm just gonna be honest with you that it is true. It was my biggest mistake for not having such a strong self esteem and I was too attached with you, My Love. I was naive, stupid, and blind. At this point, I have fallen for you deeply until I realized I just lost my self.

I hated my self for over a year, and I felt weak because I could not do anything.

Correction. I would not do anything. I could, but I wouldn't. I let my guards off and I let you to take a part of me with you. I wish I could ask for it back, but I could not. My Love, you were the best thing that has ever happened to me, but you were also the worst. You had me bruised mentally, very badly. You changed me into this new human being that I didn't even recognize. Don't get me wrong, I feel thankful and grateful for that. Because I've learned my lesson. I've learned how to be bad and good from you, My Love.

Now I am a woman. A woman who does not want to make bad choices in her life. And pardon me, you were one of them. You were bad for my family, my beliefs, and most importantly, my self. But I did not blame God for that. I need to be like that so I can learn. So I can be better, more mature and independent.

I made my choice for leaving you, My Bittersweet Love. I'd be lying if I told you I have forgotten, about every single thing, every kiss, every touch, every warmth you gave me. Thank you for those memories. But we both are fighters now, both are in good and bad ways. I wish we both can continue this journey with different paths and be good fighters and lovers at the same time. I've loved you and it was bittersweet. You, My Love are my best friend. You will always be. But for now, I just want to continue my own journey alone and I will see if I can survive in this world without you.

I wish you the best of luck, Friend. I hope we both will do good and useful things in our life.

Your former lover,
Your friend

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